Unfortunately, I am coming to the realization that I don’t think we’re going to get that again. The more I look at the 3:00 EST matchup of the Cincinnati Bengals and the Kansas City Chiefs, the less I look forward to it. Even though they’re exhilarating to watch, the Bengals are not a complete team and they do not compare to the talent or experience of the Chiefs. I am a resident hater of Patty Packets and I will be for the rest of his career unless he forces a TB12 level of respect onto me without consent. There is nothing more that I want than a Bengals Super Bowl run for the ages, as do most football fans left that don’t have a team in the race. They are America’s dog.

My AFC Championship Prediction: Bengals 24 – Chiefs 35
 
Onto the 6:30 EST matchup Los Angeles Rams and the San Francisco 49ers, a classic divisional game in the NFC championship. I’m sure you’re thinking that I am going to be a basic little man and pick the Rams because they’re flat out a better team, but you’re f*&%ing stupid. Kyle Shanahan has gotten Jimmy Pornstar to an ABSURDLY high win percentage when you look at Jimmy’s actual skill level. Kyle is a generational genius and owns Sean McVay like it’s his job. I think the 49ers are going to dominate the game, whether it is reflected on the scoreboard is yet to be seen. Matty Staffy may be more like Matty Ice in the sense that he is going to be ice cold in the game on Sunday. History suggests that Matty Staffy is known to choke in big games on the big celery sticks.

My NFC Championship Prediction: Rams 17 – 49ers 31
 
Thank you for your time, it feels great to be back in the AYN2K writing scene. I’m better than all of the readers.

Photo Credit: pressboxonline.com

As Kevin Durant tries to backpack an injured Nets team to an NBA Finals appearance, a fan in the stands at a recent game yelled "you suck" at Durant, because the fan thought that he was not good, or perhaps the fan was rooting for the team Durant is playing against. Kevin Durant, arguably one of the best players in the world, clearly does not "suck," but a temporary lapse of judgement or even a bad case of permanent stupidity caused the fan to lash out in anger against the Brooklyn Nets star.

It was later found out that the fan has never played organized basketball and was even cut from their middle school basketball team. AYN2K Sports reached out to Durant about the story, but he declined to comment. Look to many of Durant's burner twitter accounts to see how Durant really feels about the situation. 

Photo Credit: bleacherreport.com

Only a few weeks into the 2020-2021 NFL Season, positive tests have negatively affected the positivity surrounding the football season. Many health officials were positive that the NFL would see positive tests, and as the season has progressed, the negatives that come back are positive and the positives are certainly negative. The main focus for the NFL is to have a low positivity rate, and if they can stay positive regarding the negatives they've faced, there will be a lot more to be positive about rather than negative. With some teams already negatively affected by positives, the NFL is trying to be more positive about the negatives so that the league's positivity rate will be negated.

With teams like the Tennessee Titans already facing the brute negativity that can come from having positive tests, the continuation of their season shows that getting negative tests can lead to positive results. Of course, the positive results that they originally faced were negative, and though some of them could have been false-positives, having their practice facilities closed was a negative. The NFL will soon be bringing down some negative disciplinary action on the Titans, but the league remains positive even among the positive tests.

If the NFL can continue to stay positive, those who were calling for the NFL to suspend the season might have to think twice about being negative. League Health and Safety Guidelines are in place to encourage positivity towards negative tests, and players know that a positive test needs to be countered with a double negative in order to garner positivity. If the 32 teams that make up the NFL can stray away from high positivity rates, they may see positive results that are far from negative.

Photo Credit: foxbusiness.com

While sitting on my low-grade apartment balcony last week, I sat there trying to decide what I should write about, and then it came to me. It wasn’t a single word or a phrase, it was an image of Byron Mullens and his 70’s porn stache in his Bobcats uniform. Why did this image pop into my head you ask? I wish I knew but, it felt meant to be, so here we are now. It got me thinking about all the NBA players I have forgotten about over the years and there is way more than I could’ve expected. Who knows, maybe I’ll turn this into a once per month article because there are so many forgotten ones but, for now we will be profiling ELITE centers. ​

2) GREG STIEMSMA: This big cheese eating bastard is easily the one I forgot about the most. I was honestly upset he reentered my mind. A 4 year player at the University of Wisconsin, Greg went undrafted to the shock of absolutely no one. In 2009, the Boston Celtics Front Office lost a bet with the Miami Heat Front Office and were forced to sign Stiemsma for the year. It is dubbed as one of the biggest wastes of money in Celtics history. Stiemsma was only in the league for 4 seasons and 203 games with a different team each season while averaging 3.2 PPG, 3.3 RPG, and 0.5 APG on 50% shooting from the field for his underwhelming career. ​

3) HASHEEM THABEET: Potentially one of the biggest NBA cons of all time, 7’3” Thabeet spent only one season at UCONN before entering the NBA draft and getting drafted 2nd (!!!) by the Memphis Grizzlies in 2009. After one season of wasted time, the Grizzlies had enough and shipped Thabeet out for a time share in Alaska. Thabeet would only last 5 seasons and 224 games in the league. He played for 5 different teams during this span. Since he was drafted 2nd overall, he is easily considered a bust because of his career averages of 2.2 PPG, 2.7 RPG, and 0.1 APG on 56% shooting. A quick reminder that this man was 7 FEET AND 3 INCHES TALL and could only grab 2 damn boards a game. If I was the person that drafted this man, I’d break 7 of my toes. ​

Photo Credit: pbteen.com, atthehive.com, bleacherreport.com, clutchpoints.com

There is no other way to put it. The Marshall County Boys golf team has consistently been the team to beat in the 2019 season. A team goal of shooting under 290 was finally met in their regional championship, shooting 289 to take home the coveted Region 1 trophy, and they are now riding that momentum into a state tournament that's title has not been brought back to Benton, KY since 2007. Upperclassmen Tyler Powell (Murray State Commit), Jay Nimmo (Mississippi State Commit), and Camdyn McLeod (Committed to the Gym) lead the lazily named Marshall County Marshals, with a young but accomplished supporting cast (Trey Wall and Preston Futrell) rounding out the lineup. The team is governed by the world class coach Keith Bell, who some would say is coaching for his job.

With the KHSSA (Kentucky High School Sports Association) establishing new rules for the state tournament, more individuals will be participating and the number of teams representing each region have been cut in half. Though controversial, it may help the underdog Marshall County team to compete against the high class golf from the Louisville and Lexington regions for the State Team Title. There are two very important qualities that the Marshall County golf team has exuded throughout the season: grit and confidence. The Marshals have had a very busy and prosperous season, winning four invitationals throughout the year and five total counting the regional victory. Each tournament they have participated in has allowed the team to enrich their grittiness, and with the number one player Jay Nimmo wearing pants and popping his collar every chance he gets, it is evident that confidence is not lacking.

Junior Jay Nimmo and Senior Tyler Powell both like where the team currently stands as well as their chances against the field at the upcoming state tournament. "I feel like if the team clicks back to back days we have a legitimate chance to bring back a state championship," said Nimmo. Powell pointed to the team's toughness in his statement, saying "I feel as if the team has a very good possibility in running for the state title. Since the conditions may be tough with cold weather and rain, I feel like we play well in that atmosphere." Conditions may be tough, but nothing can stand to be as brute as the boys wearing orange and blue. 

Expectations for Marshall County are high coming off their scorching hot 289 team score at their Regional Championship, but the team is up for the challenge, as they have been all year. Coach Keith Bell, who is coaching for his job (though not his main source of income, most likely spiritually fulfilling rather than financially), has had great success in his tenure as golf coach of the boys team. He looks to continue that as the team tees it up on October 11th and 12th at Bowling Green Country Club in (you guessed it) Bowling Green, KY.

Photo Credit: marshallcountydaily.com

The Los Angeles Lakers have been through a complete roster overhaul heading into the 2019-2020 season. With additions such as Anthony Davis and Danny Green, the "Lake Show" looks to be going from missing the playoffs to title contenders. The Lakers currently have the 2nd best odds (behind the Clippers) to win the 2020 NBA Championship.

 Hypothetical debates have long been a part of the sports landscape, such as "could the 16'-17' Golden State Warriors beat the 95'-96' Bulls?" However, there is one match up that I don't think a lot of people are talking about: could the 19-20' Los Angeles Lakers beat 3 rhinoceroses?

There are three things in this game that will determine the winner: size, height, and heart. Keep in mind that a regulation size NBA basketball court is 94 feet by 50 feet, and that a Rhino is on average about 12 feet long and 6 feet tall. Though Lebron James and Anthony Davis stand taller than the average rhinoceros, these brute animals will still likely alter their shots. S&*t, stand all three rhinos in a single file line across the free throw stripe and you have a hell of a half court defense. The best offense is a good defense, and these rhinos will not be giving a lot of baskets up.

That being said, it is unlikely that the rhinoceros team will be able to put up great offensive numbers. Unless these rhinos were trained in shooting basketballs,  they will most likely struggle to put the ball through the hoop. Even if they were trained, their shot taking would be highly predictable as it is unlikely they know how to fade away or shot fake. If players such as Javale McGee or Demarcus Cousins are willing to get close enough to the rhinos, they can probably block and contest a fair amount of their shots.

The rhinos definitely have the upper-hand when it comes to the intimidation factor. As a sports team, it is always beneficial to put the fear of death into the opposing team, and with the rhinos being extremely capable to horn any of the Lakers (assuming it is legal) and throw them like rag dolls potentially killing them, Lebron and company would be most concerned with making it to the end of the game in one piece rather than winning when the buzzer sounds. Being completely honest, coming away from the game with minimum scrapes and bruises would be the "victory" the Lakers would be looking for. And trust me, the rhinos will play rough because they are wild animals that don't understand the game of basketball and definitely do not like loud noises and large crowds. Simply put, the rhinos will be ready to play, and they'll be ready to play dirty.

So who ultimately wins this match-up between the Lakers and 3 rhinos? It really is tough to say, but I believe as long as the Lakers scored one time, they would come away victorious. I know that I am not giving enough credit to the offensive skills of these 5000 pound beasts, but I just do not see the trio of rhinoceros spreading the floor and getting out in transition enough to bring down the Lakers. Rhinos are surprisingly fast animals, with top speeds around 30 MPH, so though one might be able to burst down the court faster than a basketball player, I see the rhino with the ball having trouble making the outlet pass. 

If a Lakers player can just make one layup, jump shot, three pointer, whatever it takes, then play hot potato for the remainder of the game, I see the "Lake Show" coming away with the win. It would be a VERY close game though, and I think a lot of people would pay to see it (if their safety was guaranteed). 

Pretty confident in your team huh Lebron? You won't prove greatness by beating the Warriors, the Clippers, or the Bucks. You'll prove that you are an all time great on an all time great team if you can take down some actual, wild rhinos. Make it happen.

FINAL PREDICTION: Lakers- 2 Rhinos- 0 Injuries- Likely
Photo Credit: youtube.com, fightforrhinos.com

April 2010. Cousins decides to forgo his final three years of eligibility and enter his name into the NBA Draft. A sought-after prospect, DeMarcus found himself getting drafted with the 5th overall pick to the Sacramento Kings, a team who desperately needed a rise back into the spotlight. He spent his first six and a half years as a Sacramento King, and while he proved to be an All-Star caliber player, he was mentally unstable on the court. His season prior to be traded to the New Orleans Pelicans he received a $25,000 fine for hitting a record mark of 16 technical fouls, proving what people have always thought about him as far as his emotions getting the best of him. Frankly, besides the fact that a DeMarcus Cousins led team never produced winning results, I believe his emotions were a factor in him being moved. Over his six and a half year career for the Kings he averaged 21.5 PPG, 10.9 RPG, 3.1 APG, 1.4 SPG, and 1.2 BPG and shot 45.8% from the field, 20.4% from 3, and 73.2% from the stripe. All in all, this was the making of an All-Star caliber center who had yet to reach his prime. It worked in “Sactown” for a long time, that is until it all fell apart. He loved the city and the city loved him, but the winning failed to mask the troubles that DeMarcus had.
 
February 2017. DeMarcus was traded to the New Orleans Pelicans to play alongside Anthony Davis (also a University of Kentucky alum) to create the best front court in the league. AD and Boogie were a problem for teams. Either player could give you 40 points and double digit rebounds on any given night. At this point in their careers they were both walking double-doubles and DeMarcus was starting to blossom. In only 17 games with the Pelicans that season, Cousins averaged 24.4 PPG, 12.5 RPG, 3.9 APG, 1.5 SPG, and 1.1 BPG on 45.2% shooting from the field and a career high 37.5% from three. Things were only going to get better the next season, or so the NBA world thought…
 
January 2018. Cousins is having the best all-around year of his still young career, and the Pelicans aren’t a team to be reckoned with at the time. Boogie was averaging 25.2 PPG, 12.9 RPG (Career High), 5.4 APG (Career High), 1.6 SPG (Career High), and 1.6 BPG while shooting 47% from the field, 35.4% from three and 74.6% from the stripe, all while playing a career high in minutes as well (36.2 per game). On January 22nd, he recorded a 44 point, 24 rebound, and 10 assist triple-double in a double overtime win against the Chicago Bulls. This historic showing made him the first player to do this since hall of fame center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar did it in 1972. How impressive was it? This was the 10th time it had ever been accomplished in NBA History. Boogie and Pelicans were thriving, and he was going to be seeking a max free agent contract the following July. Unfortunately, just as things were looking up for the 3-time All-Star, his world came crashing down.

January 26th, four days after his historic triple-double, Cousins recorded yet another triple double in a win over the Houston Rockets. While the statistical numbers were lesser then the one prior, it was still another impressive triple double. Even though it was a win and another stat sheet stuffed night for Demarcus, it wasn’t the reason he was headlining major sports outlets that night and next morning. In the closing seconds of the win, DeMarcus was diving for a loose ball and ruptured his left Achilles. A devastating blow to a player that had everything going for him, and a team that was finally winning for the first time in years. Five days later, on January 31st, he underwent season ending surgery, and some went as far as saying career ending. No player of Cousins’ size or age had ever successfully recovered from an achilles injury prior. Everything seemed to be trending to the top and Boogie was in the conversation for the best center in the league. He would’ve finished with the best year of his career and gotten PAID once July rolled around. All of that came crashing down in one fleeting moment, one that honestly seemed preventable. Then again, how can you ever predict a career altering moment like this one? It simply cannot be done. DeMarcus Cousins was now unwanted, just a memory of what he once was. Or was he?
 
July 2018. It’s July 6th and DeMarcus Cousins has had little to no interest since Free Agency opened 6 days earlier. He reached out to teams and almost all turned him down, except for one, and an unlikely one at that: the Golden State Warriors. Cousins’ camp communicated with Bob Meyers and his group and they agreed upon a 1 year, $5.3 million-dollar contract. A truly baffling contract when you look at the name who signed it. Boogie, arguably the best center in the NBA, who was going to be due about $140 million in July, instead signed for an unbelievably measly $5.3 million dollars. As a Warriors fan, it was a move that you thought was underrated and a pure steal from the rest of the league. As a fan of another team, you thought that sure, it wasn’t a lot of money, but could Boogie really make it back from that? Only time would tell.
 
December 2018. Demarcus is practically back from his devastating injury. A potentially minor setback for a major comeback was the hope around the league, for the Warriors, and especially DeMarcus Cousins. He was assigned to the Warriors G-League Affiliate, the Santa Cruz Warriors, to get his first full contact practices since the injury. On January 18th, 2019, it was finally time for his return. Cousins made his debut and scored 14 points for the “Dubs” before fouling out in a 112-94 win over the Los Angeles Clippers. A solid start considering the long road ahead of him. He reached another milestone on April 2nd when he scored a season high 28 points along with 13 rebounds in a 116-102 win over the Denver Nuggets. Through the 30 games he played, he started all of them and averaged 16.3 PPG, 8.2 RPG, 3.6 APG, 1.3 SPG, and 1.5 BPG on 48% shooting from the field and 27.4% from three.

All in all, Boogie had a solid end of the season with the Warriors and things were moving in the right direction, that is until April 16th. In Game 2 of the first round of the NBA Playoffs, Cousins tore his left quad and was ruled out indefinitely. A huge blow to both Cousins and the momentum he had built up coming off the season he had put together. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him, as he was finally returning to form just to tear his quad the same way he tore his Achilles: diving for a loose ball. He spent 6 weeks on the sidelines and came back for Game 1 of the NBA Finals against the Toronto Raptors, and man was this a rushed return. He was slow, flat footed, and inefficient from the field. He had officially reached the point of being a shell of his former self. With all this in mind, it was not over yet for Boogie, even though it may have seemed like it.
 
July 2019. Free Agency has begun and DeMarcus is going through an even worse free agency pain than he did the year before: he went from a small market to a nonexistent market. No team wanted him, and he was rarely in any scenarios where a team needed a 2nd or 3rd big name. On July 6th , around 1:00 A.M. EST, Kawhi Leonard chose the Clippers over the Lakers and that opened the door for Boogie, as he was signed by the Los Angeles Lakers around 5:00 P.M. EST.

In my eyes, this is DeMarcus Cousins’ last chance to be in this league. He has an incredible amount to prove in a small amount of time. He’s got the players around him to help him thrive in LeBron James and his old teammate Anthony Davis, but there is no telling what lies ahead for Boogie. There is only one definitive thing that lies ahead of Cousins now: chance. DeMarcus went from the top to the bottom the same way most other stars do in this league: being lessened by injury, and not being able to “get back up” without being carried. So many good players have lost their careers because of a simple, split second play. Rarely any of them make it back and have a career resurgence, but can Boogie defy the odds and re-surge his career like some before him? Or will he fall short to injury and be an after-thought this year? Time will tell, as it always does. DeMarcus Cousins is a one of a kind personality and talent in this league. It would be a shame to see it all go away by the time he turns 30, but only chance, time, and Boogie can change that.
​Photo Credits: businessinsider.com