Hello Fred. I understand your trauma when it comes to UFO experiences, I know a man who was abducted by aliens as well, and the poor fella seems to have been a little more than probed, if you know what I mean. Anyway, when it comes to any kind of alien/paranormal experience, my scope is somewhat limited. The best advice I can give to you is to fight back against the aliens. Do not let any people, much less aliens, take you without a fight. If I were you, I would make an attempt to get abducted again, but this time, come strapped up. Carrying firepower and explosives and maybe 2 or 3 syringes of adrenaline will be enough to strike the American fear into any species. What you decide to do with those aliens once you’ve met them face to face is up to you, Mr. Fred.

Greetings Mr. Round.
It is a pleasure to finally have an opportunity to talk to you. Firstly, I must say it’s somewhat strange that you would seemingly suddenly “realize” you don’t like spending time with your wife’s family. However, with that point aside, let’s get you some sound advice. I too find myself around plenty of people where I would just rather turn around and head back home. I wish it was that easy. The truth is, Stanley, sacrifice is going to be key here. Fake an injury, or better yet, inflict moderate harm upon yourself and obtain an actual injury. Your next step is to dial 911, and make sure they step on it. The less time you have to explain to your wife about this situation the better. Your best bet now will be to keep any answers vague, and once the ambulance gets there, simply tell your wife to enjoy the time with your family and that you’ll meet her later. At this point, you’re probably in the clear.
Good luck Mr. Round.