An Ode to Benches at the Mall

By Quinn Eaton

Dear Mall Bench,

​As I write this, I am sitting on a bench at the mall. There are many simple pleasures in life, but one of the finest of them all is finding a bench to rest your weary legs after a long day of walking around and following someone else shop. 

Of course you always first look for the open chair inside the store that your significant other is adventuring in. Maybe it’s a chair for trying on shoes; maybe it’s an ottoman that you decide is now your recharging station.

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That magnificent “inside the store” chair eludes most mortal souls, and once you decide to sit on it, it no longer serves its intended purpose. How lovely is it to know that there is a seat longing for us to use it in a land outside the immediate premises that we stand in. This is when we are left to pull the ole “I’ll be out here.” Where is out here you ask? 

It’s the always inviting and forever firm mall bench. A little slice of paradise thrown right in the middle of the chaos.

Sure, sometimes you are lucky to find yourself escaping to a nice padded chair or couch, but those are often occupied when you need them and vacant when you don’t. You know what always has your back? What always rests with open arms waiting to embrace your "shop till you drop" ass?

The forever lovely and delightfully simple mall bench.

The view from the mall bench is magnificent. You can smell the soft pretzel aroma as it dances its way from the food court and around your nose. You can see the disgruntled couple as they are bothered by someone trying to sell them perfume. Oh look! There is a snot nosed kid having a melt down! I send blessings to that child and their family, and hope they can find peace like I have on this mall bench.

It’s people watching heaven. It’s wood and metal. It’s the backbone of this nation.

Thank you Mall Bench. Men everywhere love you.

Sincerely,

Quinn Eaton

Photo Credit: allsorted.com