By DJ Pigg
It’s that time of year again, folks: the time of year that Jason Pierre-Paul’s PTSD kicks in like Kangaroo Jack whoopin’ up on a fool that stole his sunglasses. The week of the 4th of July is extremely sentimental to our country, but is also a time where we often question the intelligence and logic of some of our countrymen by their use of fireworks.
With that being said, are fireworks an odd thing for people to take an interest in? It’s not really a lasting visual such as a television screen, they don’t satisfy hunger, or get us to and from anywhere as a vehicle would. They’re just there, and then they’re not. It seems like we, as a nation, could come together to brainstorm some ideas on finding a better alternative to fireworks that would serve more of a purpose than just going "boom," but right now no one seems to be complaining too much, so I’ll rock that boat another time.
Now, when I picture the discovery of fireworks, I picture a man trying to start a fire of some sort when all of the sudden… “BOOM!” The man’s face lights up (figuratively, of course) as the thought of “holy f@$&#ing s%@#balls, that was awesome” ran through his brain. Unfortunately, that’s not really how it played out. According to epicfireworks.com, it was probably a cook from China almost 2,000 years ago who used a mixture of charcoal, sulfur, and saltpeter that most likely exploded once compressed. Yikes! Talk about some KungPOW chicken!
We’ve come a long way since then, though, and now bright booms and bangs are expected and, for our great nation of the USA at least, they are considered patriotic. It’s kind of relieving to know that in the point and time that we’re in, with all of the turmoil stirring in America, that something as simple as a fireworks show to celebrate the birth of our country could bring large groups and communities of people together. It’s either that or we’re just traumatizing our dogs, so join me in believing in our nation’s love for things that explode.
Photo Credit: Mental Floss
Authors: Isaac Bayer, Thad Buchanan, Quinn Eaton, Garrett Howell, Cole Manion, Dawson Martin, DJ Pigg, Adam Redfern
Anything could be in here...it is like the junk drawer in your kitchen!