Local Man Tells Crickets in His Yard to "Shut the Hell Up;" Threatens to Sue

By Quinn Eaton

A local man is losing sleep due to extreme frustration regarding the "not so neighborly" crickets that have taken up residence near his home. He has stated that the noisy insects wake him up too early and keep him up too late, and that "the least they could do is get on the same rhythm." The man accuses Disney of creating a deceitful image of the noisy bug in the classic Pinocchio film from 1940. The agitated man feels that Jiminy Cricket sets too high of a standard for crickets everywhere and strongly feels that Disney should be held accountable for constructing a false standard.

---

The man has threatened to sue the crickets in Small Claims Court for trespassing and harassment. His local court office stated "Yeah, we definitely threw away his lawsuit. Pretty much as soon as he handed it to us. He gave us the document, we said we would get to it right away, then before he made it out the door, we filed it away in our circular filing cabinet. That's a joke! Get it? Circular filing cabinet? That means waste basket."

The agitated man is even considering moving to a more urban area to avoid the overbearing chorus of crickets on his property. Even then, he believes the chirping insects "have it out for him" and would follow him to wherever he moved because he has heard that the "crickets have gone wireless." This is a developing story and AYN2K will continue to follow the case.

Photo Credit: jokesoftheday.net